You asked:

I’m a female student and want to practice safe sex, but will my date think I’m “slutty” if I break out a condom? Shouldn’t the guy be responsible for having condoms, just in case?

Your sexual behavior is always your responsibility. If you carry a condom in your wallet or purse, you aren't slutty -- you're smart enough to protect yourself. Any guy who judges you for having condoms should be kicked to the curb for one who’s more enlightened.

While it's true that men typically are held responsible for having condoms, it is also 2010, and women should take precautions. Better for both of you to have a condom than to not have one at all. Your sexual choices are just that -- yours. So if you decide you want to have sex, don’t feel at all ashamed about being prepared to do so.

If you're really embarrassed about having condoms, wait to see if your date or boyfriend brought one before you get yours out. In my opinion, if you're sleeping with someone, you should be able to trust him enough to talk about whose responsibility it is to provide contraception.

If you haven't known this person long enough for that conversation, assume responsibility. This way, in the heat of the moment, “Oh, no, I forgot a condom” won’t become “Oh, who cares?”

You never have to apologize for protecting yourself.

Name: Liz Cruger
School: College of William and Mary
Year: Senior
Major: Psychology and English lit
Her deal: This is Liz’s second year as an R.A. for freshmen. She is also involved in several campus activities, including pep band and the belly dance club.

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