You asked:

What if my hometown boyfriend meets someone else at his school? I’m obsessed. Please help!

Long-distance relationships can be tough. Many fail because people set expectations for their partner that result in too much pressure and stress -- and at that point it isn't really a relationship but more of an enmeshment. This doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed … you’ll just have to keep some things in mind to make it work:

In any relationship, good communication is key -- but you don’t need to know what your boyfriend is doing 24/7. Sure, you might not know everything about his latest class assignment, but if you chat on a regular basis you’ll get the 411 on the important parts of his life. Still, be mindful of each other’s space and maintain mutual respect for each other’s time and privacy.

Meanwhile, be sure you’re taking care of yourself rather than obsessing over your boyfriend. You can’t control the distance, so why spend your time worrying when you could be out having fun? Find your niche in college by getting involved in club sports, student organizations, dorm activities or even Greek life. Staying busy will give you something positive to focus on instead of agonizing over whether or not your BF is up to no good. Plus, it will give you lots to talk about when he calls to catch up.

Remember: If your relationship is meant to work, it will. Again, this is something that is out of your control (since you can only control your own feelings, not his). There’s no point in dwelling on it. Rather, it’s important to accept the reality that any relationship, long-distance or not, could eventually end in a breakup.

You should consider seeking professional counseling if this emotional turmoil is interfering with your academic or social life. Many schools offer counseling services to help students cope with relationship issues. A counselor has the professional training to help you work through this in a healthy way.

Name: Sarah Arsenoff
School: UNC Wilmington
Year: Senior
Major: Marine Biology
Her Deal: This is Sarah's third year as an R.A. for freshmen and international students. She writes for Periplus, a university newsletter for students who, like her, are in the honors scholars program.

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