Hookups Gone Wrong: Damage Control

At least once during your college career, you’re bound to make a bad decision. At this inevitable crossroad, you may find yourself deep in regret with the shame of a by-the-book, bad hookup. And while you may be scarred by the memory of this awkward moment for years to come, there are at least some ways to minimize the damage if you …

… Hooked up With Your Friend
This. Could. Be. Awkward. The last thing you want to do is go out on Friday night with your pal and wake up Saturday morning next to him or her. But you did. And unless the genuine feelings are there, it won’t end well.

Option one is to laugh it off and swear you will never do it again; better yet, swear you will never speak of it again! To save both of you embarrassment and questions, keep your hookup private -- otherwise everyone is going to think you are dating, and that will only add to the awkwardness.

… Hooked up With Your Roommate
This could be the most awkward of all hookups. Not only do you live with this person, but you are probably close friends too. You can’t escape the awkwardness, and the issue won’t be resolved if you don’t discuss it -- so talk about why the hookup happened and how continuing to do so will only cause you stress in the end. (If you fight, you will avoid going home. If you break up, you will avoid him/her and going home. If he/she brings someone else home, that’s just awkward.) There is no good ending to this, so walk away now.

… Hooked up With Your Ex
This is never a good idea … unless both you and your ex plan on getting back together. The best thing to do in this situation is to have a mature conversation about why you should no longer hook up: You’ll never move on if you continue to be intimate.

As for the next time you get that text/call at 2 a.m.? Don’t answer. Or, better yet, tell him/her that you’re with someone else. Trust us, they’ll get the picture. And if you are the one sending the texts, give it a break -- unless you’re trying to prolong your pain!

… Hooked up With Your Friend’s Ex
This is bad. While you can try to keep the secret between you and your friend’s ex, this will only last so long. Someone is going to talk eventually -- and if you are a good friend, it should be you, and it should be soon. Otherwise, you risk the unpleasantries of a surprise, or worse, a public ambush. So own up. If your friendship is real, he or she will eventually come around and let sleeping dogs lie.

… Hooked up With Your Boss/Teacher
Hooking up with someone in a position of power may seem like a cool or good idea, but it can actually have really bad consequences.

Approach the person in charge and explain that the hookup was a bad idea, and then ask that it be keep secret. If you must, switch or drop the class, or quit your job.

… Hooked up With Someone Gross
By gross, this can mean anything from someone you find unattractive to someone whom, you’ve realized -- too late -- is intellectually distasteful. (Betcha wish you saw that DVD collection a little earlier in the night!)

The right thing to do is offer an explanation -- but in some cases, it’s just not possible. Get out of there ASAP, sever communication and avoid the person at all costs.

… Hooked up With Someone With a Rumored STD
The first thing you should do is get yourself to the health center (or your regular doctor) and get checked out for all STDs. If you are clean, thank your lucky stars that it was probably just a rumor and nothing else. If your screen comes back irregular, don’t wait to approach the person and confront them about it. They may deny it, but if the person really doesn’t know about the STD, they should. And if the person did know and gave it to you anyway, feel free to tell everyone exactly who infected you and with what.

… Hooked up With a Stalker
You hooked up with someone and now he/she is obsessed with you? When a hookup turns stalker-status, the only way to remedy the situation is to cut off all ties of communication. If it’s extreme, de-friend the stalker, change your Facebook status to “in a relationship,” add a picture of you and your new “girl/boyfriend,” and change your number. No luck? Alert your R.A. and/or campus police. Something’s gotta give!