You asked:

I hate to even admit it, but I’m homesick. I really think I want to transfer to a college closer to home. How do I tell my parents that all this was a waste of time (and money)?

Sooner or later, you’re going to have to talk to them. It’s not easy to tell your parents when something isn’t working out, but the important part is that you are honest about your intentions. Here’s a little advice on how to break the ice. ...

1) Take your time. Before you spill your guts, slow down. Why be hasty? You really don’t need to have all the answers right away. This might not need to be an issue until the end of the year, which will give you a chance to really consider it before making a final decision. You might figure out a solution, or you might miss home a little less over time.

2) Assess the situation. Think critically about what’s causing your homesickness. Is it because you don’t connect with anyone at your school? Is there something about home that has left you feeling a specific void -- friends, security, comfort? Once you’ve organized your thoughts, you’ll be able to talk more honestly and directly with your parents.

3) Make your case. If you’ve decided that you definitely want to move back home, point out some of the benefits to your folks. When it comes to time and money, there is no value in your education if you’re unable to get the most out of the experience. Staying close to home might actually save your parents money in the long run: In-state tuition is almost always cheaper, and if you’re planning to camp out in your old crib, there go the costs of room and board.

4) Offer to pitch in. If you really want to make this an adult discussion, be sure to let your parents know that you’re willing to take responsibility. Consider offering to get a part-time job that fits with your class schedule so you can pay them a small amount of weekly rent or to help with tuition fees. Also, assure them that you will help with household responsibilities, do your own laundry and keep your space tidy.

5) Keep it short-term. Make it clear to your parents that this is a temporary arrangement, and that you plan to live independently sometime before or shortly after graduation. Your parents miss you when you’re away at college, but in nature, baby birds are supposed to leave the nest.

Name: Sarah Arsenoff
School: UNC Wilmington
Year: Senior
Major: Marine Biology
Her Deal: This is Sarah's third year as an R.A. for freshmen and international students. She writes for Periplus, a university newsletter for students who, like her, are in the honors scholars program.

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