A Spring Break With the Improvs

Ah, how beautiful the words “spring” and “break” sound together. This year, I had a ticket (well, not a plane ticket since we were road-tripping it) out of the semi-arctic and fully depressing grip of central Ohio -- a Florida vacation with my improv comedy group.

It was to be a mission of a most imperative nature: guerrillaprov. A mission involving spontaneous improv comedy performed in places where unsuspecting bystanders would be forced to witness the off-the-top-of-the-head comedic styling of six twisted personalities. No scripts, no mercy.

The 16-hour drive began early the morning after St. Patty’s Day, so some of us were a bit groggy from the previous night’s festivities. But we fell into a groove once we finally had the SUV packed up and rolling toward our tropical destination. The energy was intense, and I was afraid our innocent audience would not be prepared for what was sure to be a display of reckless comedy.

But the hyperactivity wore off after five or six hours of monotonous driving with only the occasional break to stop at various colleges for photo opps and yell unfunny jokes at locals. During one stop, at the University of Kentucky, we parked in a lot to run across the street for a group photo (our driver Alex was wearing a full-body tiger-print onesie) but a woman came out yelling at us that it was the area’s busiest time of the day and we could not park there. We looked insane as we ran back to the car, flailing our arms and legs while proclaiming, “OH, NO! IT’S THE BUSIEST TIME OF THE DAY! WE CAN’T PARK HERE. OH, NO!” The woman wasn’t amused -- but we were.

That night, we had finally arrived in Tallahassee, Fla. For anyone who’s ever been in a car with five other dudes for over 12 hours, you can imagine how relieving it was to get out of the sweat- and flatulent-flooded vehicle. The following morning we geared up for our guerrillaprov performance on Florida State University’s Lhandis Green (the name of their patch of grass where students tan and throw Frisbees or whatever else you crazy kids do). We were expecting quite a turnout.

You see, before we left Ohio, we had set up a Facebook group, inviting a couple thousand FSU students to attend our show. But when we arrived on the Green ... um, nobody was waiting for us. Well, except for a group of girls tanning in bikinis. Sure, they probably wouldn’t appreciate our offbeat sense of humor or our overall slovenly appearance. But there was us, a group of men who’d been stuck in a car together for hours, and them, bikini girls. Need I say more?

The show was fairly awkward, considering the bikini girls weren’t really paying attention to us, but we mustered up some decent skits. Highlights: a son attracted to his father and a puppy turned loose inside of a conveniently placed time machine. OK, so the bikini girls weren’t all that impressed. The scene eventually ended, as these things tend to do: with poop jokes and cheap British accents.